Transcript of "A Special Occasion"

Characters [Transcript Begin]
 * Lucretia Saint-Saëns
 * The Black River Killer

Lucretia: Dirty night tonight. Hope you've been keeping your faucets on to drip. Hell freezes over faster than you'd think. I'm Lucretia Saint-Saëns and you're listening to KFAL, Barcelona midnight radio. Gonna take some callers, now, while I still can. Here's hoping that cell tower don't go down again... Alright, baby, you're on the air.

BRK: I'm calling in today 'cause this is a special occasion. [whoops]

Lucretia: Special occasion, huh? Sounds real fun. And what might that be, baby?

BRK: I can't tell you what it is yet, hun, but you'll see.

Lucretia: ...Will I, now...?

BRK: 'Cause the devil works quick, yeah, it don't take long.

Lucretia: ...That he does...

[Pause]

BRK: Play "Black River Killer."

Lucretia: Look, if this is some kinda joke, I don't appreciate crank calls on m-

BRK: Play. Black. River. Killer.

[Pause]

BRK: You there, honey?

[Pause]

Lucretia: ...Yeah, I'm here. And I'll play it. Just stick around.

[Blitzen Trapper, "Black River Killer"]

Lucretia: Yes, that devil does work fast. That river water pumps like venom through this county's veins. That's the kinda evil that six-string picker sows as quick as anything.

[Colter Wall, "The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie"]

Lucretia: ...Supposing there ain't no way to run off. No way to escape. 'Cause you're right, ain't ya, baby? It really don't take long. Never did.

[Sturgill Simpson, "Remember to Breathe"]

[Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, "Save My Soul"]

[Amigo the Devil, "The Recluse"]

[This Way to the Egress, "Saint"]

Lucretia: If you're in a hurry to find what you need, you'd better run fast while the water catches up. Or you'll get driven like a spike down into that riverbed. Forever don't last long, when you're falling. But even a second is eternity when you know that someone might fall after.

[Delta Rae, "Bottom of the River"]

Lucretia: The IC can go ahead and fine me. They're gonna fucking get you. And you ain't never gonna hit the bottom.

[End Transcript]

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